Imagine your four-year-old creating their own music for playtime, visualizing their dreams through AI-generated art, and confidently declaring “I’m good at AI!” – all before learning to write. This isn’t a scene from a sci-fi movie; it’s how Kunal Dalal’s son grows up today. As I sat down with Kunal, an administrator of artificial intelligence in public education and author of “The AI Parent,” I realized we’re witnessing something unprecedented: the rise of the first AI-native generation
A New Kind of Digital Native
“We talk about digital natives and digital immigrants,” Kunal told me, leaning forward with intensity. “But now we’re going to have AI natives and AI immigrants. My son is going to be wired quite differently than me.” His words struck a chord. As a parent myself, I’ve watched my twelve-year-old navigate technology with an intuition that sometimes leaves me both amazed and concerned.
But here’s the provocative question that keeps many of us awake at night: In a world where AI can make any child perform like a savant, what does it mean to be a good parent? The answer, I’ve discovered, might surprise you.
The Truth About Screen Time Nobody Tells Us
Let me share a personal struggle that might sound familiar. Recently, I watched my 12-year-old son spend seven hours straight on TikTok and Roblox during school vacation. Like many parents, my first instinct was to shut it down, to set strict limits. But when I discussed this with Kunal, his response made me completely rethink my approach.
Instead of immediately restricting screen time, I tried something different, inspired by the groundbreaking work of psychologists Richard Ryan and Deci. Their self-determination theory suggests that our psychological well-being depends on three fundamental needs – think of them as nutrients for the soul: autonomy (feeling in control of our choices), competence (mastering skills and feeling capable), and relatedness (meaningful connections with others).
Taking this framework, I sat down with my son for an honest conversation. Rather than imposing restrictions, I explained how game companies and social media platforms are expertly designed to hook us. We discussed how they use sophisticated AI and psychology to trigger these exact needs – creating artificial feelings of competence through achievement systems, relatedness through social features, and autonomy through in-game choices. This conversation was eye-opening for him, shifting his perspective from simply consuming content to understanding the mechanics trying to capture his attention.
Together, we worked to set boundaries he felt ownership over. “How much gaming time do you think is reasonable?” I asked. With the autonomy to make this decision, my son suggested “an hour or two, especially after finishing homework.” He even proposed setting his own alarm to track time.
The results were remarkable. By understanding these core psychological needs and the systems designed to exploit them, my son began self-regulating his screen time. He started viewing his digital engagement more critically, recognizing when platforms were pulling his psychological triggers rather than providing genuine fulfillment.
The key insight? Technology isn’t inherently the enemy. Our job as parents isn’t to fight against these platforms but to help our children understand how they work and ensure they have multiple, healthy ways to satisfy their essential psychological needs. When children understand the mechanics behind their digital experiences and feel their fundamental needs are met, they naturally develop a healthier relationship with technology.
Rethinking Everything We Know About Parenting
Remember when we thought banning calculators would make kids better at math? We’re making the same mistake with AI. When Kunal’s son wanted scary music for playtime, his first instinct was to search through movie soundtracks. Then he had an epiphany: Why not let his son create original music using AI? The result? A two-minute track that his son played on repeat for six hours, running through the house in pure joy.
This isn’t just about keeping kids entertained. It’s about something far more profound: the emergence of a new kind of creativity that blends human imagination with AI capabilities. As I watched my own children interact with AI tools, I realized we’re not just raising tech-savvy kids – we’re raising hybrid thinkers who naturally see AI as an extension of their creative abilities.
The Moment Everything Changed
For Kunal, the revelation came through a Band-Aid. His son had a cut, and his cousin put on a Band-Aid in solidarity. When Kunal struggled to explain the concept of solidarity to a four-year-old, he turned to ChatGPT. The explanation it provided wasn’t just good – it was transformative. That’s when he realized: AI wasn’t just another tool; it was becoming a parenting partner.
But here’s what’s fascinating: while his son embraces AI for creation and learning, he instinctively understands its limitations. During one AI image generation session, his son pointed out that the diverse classroom depicted in the image looked more like his old school than his current one – a profound observation about AI bias that sparked a meaningful conversation about representation and reality.
Breaking the Rules to Become Irreplaceable
Here’s the most counterintuitive insight: the behaviors we often try to correct in our children might actually be their superpowers in an AI-driven world. “Let’s celebrate the rule-breaking kids,” Kunal suggests with a gleam in his eye. “That thing that might get them in trouble at school today might be exactly what they need in this AI world.”
Consider this: while AI excels at following rules and patterns, human creativity often comes from breaking them. When my son combines different AI tools in unexpected ways to create something entirely new, isn’t he developing exactly the kind of innovative thinking we want to encourage?
A New Parenting Playbook
So how do we raise children in this brave new world? Start by forgetting everything you know about traditional parenting. Instead of forcing kids to memorize information that AI can instantly provide, focus on developing what I call the “Humics” – those uniquely human capabilities that AI cannot replicate: genuine creativity, critical thinking, and social authenticity.
Kunal Dalal‘s approach is refreshingly practical. With his son, they create AI-generated images of daily experiences, compose music for play sessions, and use AI to enhance storytelling. But equally important are the moments away from technology – playing sports, building real-world relationships, and experiencing the kind of genuine human connection that no AI can replicate.
The Future Is Already Here
As we wrapped up our conversation, Kunal shared a moment that perfectly encapsulates this new reality. His son, watching him on local news discussing AI in education, didn’t care about his father being on TV. Instead, he excitedly exclaimed, “Daddy, they said AI! I’m good at AI!”
This is the future we’re stepping into – one where AI literacy is as fundamental as reading and writing, but where being human is more valuable than ever. Our job as parents isn’t to fight this future but to help our children navigate it while nurturing their essential humanity.
The revolution in parenting is here, and it’s not about choosing between human and artificial intelligence – it’s about helping our children leverage both to become truly irreplaceable. Are you ready to join this revolution? The future of parenting awaits, and it’s more exciting than we ever imagined.
As Kunal puts it, “AI can never hold the hand of a child who’s hurting or laugh uncontrollably at a silly joke.” And therein lies our greatest opportunity as parents: to raise children who are not just AI-savvy, but profoundly, confidently, and irreplaceably human.
